My mother was a peasant immigrant from Slovakia. She was
pregnant nine times. I'm number nine. She lost three babies to miscarriages. In
America, the streets were paved with houses inhabited by rich people who needed
cleaning women. That's why they brought over Slovak peasants like my mother.
My mother often worked two full-time, minimum-wage,
manual-labor jobs when I was a kid. Try explaining the welfare state to any
Bohunk immigrant of that generation. Feh. Their strength and endurance are
legendary. Strong like bull.
I had five older siblings, four brothers and one sister.
I was dyslexic and much more aural than visual. I absorbed everything I heard
like a sponge. All my siblings, whether they knew it or not, where my teachers.
I could fill a fat volume with what I learned from my sister, from how to kiss,
and why I had to overcome my disgust at doing so, to life's big questions.
I pass the house now and wonder, how did we all fit in
it? All my brothers are over six feet tall, muscular and larger than life. My
sister and I are both tall, big-boned women.
The house is tiny. One bathroom for eight people. ONE
BATHROOM!!! No extra sink or anything. I housesit for a married couple and
their bichon frise. They have five bathrooms – that I've found. There may be
one I haven't stumbled across yet.
I could stand in the middle of our kitchen / dining room
/ laundry room and practically touch the walls with my fingertips, it was that
small. And yet we all fit in there, with laundry hanging over head, and Tramp
under the table.
One night in that kitchen my sister told the story of the
Monkey's Paw. This was decades ago. TV was still black and white, at least ours
was. There was no such thing as pressing one for Spanish. The Vietnam War
seemed as endless as it seemed pointless. UFOs had recently been sighted over
the Wanaque Reservoir. I didn't realize it at the time but that was all part of
Cold War mania. This was decades ago.
Antoinette was very verbal, and a good writer. Nobody
thought I'd ever write anything. Nobody ever thought I'd learn to read. Nobody
thought much of me at all. In a way invisibility was my superpower. Everybody
said everything in front of me. I memorized it all.
And so one night Antoinette told the story of the
Monkey's Paw.
Mr. White receives a magical monkey's paw from India.
White is told that it can grant three wishes, and its previous owner used his
final wish to wish for death. In spite of that dire omen, White makes a wish –
money for the final payment on his house.
White's son Herbert is killed in a machinery accident.
White receives the mortgage money in the form of a death payment on his son.
Mrs. White wishes her son would come back to life. There
is a knock at the door. Mr. White realizes that his son, returned to life,
would be hideously mutilated from the machinery accident. White uses his third
and final wish to wish his own son dead again. He answers the door – and there
is no one there.
I remember that story. I remember that dark, dark night
in the small, crowded kitchen, fringed by our hanging long johns and
nightgowns, drying on the line stretching from hallway to exhaust fan.
I remember my sister Antoinette's supreme elegance, her
worldly wisdom, her knowledge of life's twists and turns of which I could only
dream. I remember being in awe of her.
I vividly "remember" Herbert, his twisted and
blood-spattered body waiting just outside the kitchen door.
I remember a sense that that story had smudged the
opalescent surface of life's bubble for me, and that nothing that would ever
occur could ever remove that smudge.
I've been asking you since May, 2013, to pray for a
miracle for my sister.
I'm going to reveal a secret. This entire time, I've been
"hearing" loud and clear that that miracle would not be forthcoming.
And I would say, that may just be my own negativity. God
can do anything.
And I would remember that night in the kitchen, and my
sister telling the story of the Monkey's Paw.
Maybe some things do have to happen.
I got an email this afternoon that informed me that it
won't be long now.
I am more sad than I can say.
Please pray that when the time comes my sister
experiences much peace, and no pain.
Oh, Danusha I will pray for your sister and so very much for you.. you are right, God can do anything and honestly, that is what I always pray for. God. You are able with the wink of your eye to make it all better. I pray that you wink. But if you don't, that will do. Just hold us forever in the palm of your hand and keep us in your care. Thank you God. Help Danusha and her sister in their hour of need.
ReplyDeleteDanusha stay strong and I know you know God is with you always,
Gemma thank you very much.
DeletePrayers for you and your sister.
ReplyDelete