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Saturday, March 23, 2013

"I Am Telling You It is NOT Illegal!" An Overheard Conversation in the Adjunct Professors' Office

Charles Joshua Chaplin. A Conversation Overheard. Source

As I describe in "Save Send Delete," adjunct professor offices are weird, liminal spaces, somewhere between long-distance bus waiting rooms and church confessionals. They smell of incense, pretense and engine exhaust, but you can encounter intense dedication to scholarship and care for students in between the ignominy and the revolving door that promises us we will never enjoy the salary, health care, or pension of "real" professors.

One day in the adjunct office I overheard one half of a phone conversation. I was so fascinated by it I began taking dictation. Warning: I have no idea what this conversation means. My transcript, below:

"Hey, Lou, you've been my compadre. I want you to know that this new guy is taking your territory. I want to let you in on something. The President of the Albanian Federation will work with us. You'll give me ten percent, as usual. No, it won't be illegal. I've got this guy. He's a professional pool player in Albania. I'm telling you it's not illegal.

Yeah. See if you can get two of those. We'll put up a banner in the arena; you might get some business out of it. You have to assure me that you can deliver to the place up there a day or two before. I have people. I've got a couple people. I need the delivery made up there. They'll identify themselves. Pat Grint. He represents the people putting up the money.

Did I tell you it's not illegal?

You need to try to work on cornering this. We'll arrange something. I'll have him talk to you directly about a boatload over to Albania. Okay, thanks, Lou, God bless you. Oh, it worked out great. I ended up directing the artistic."

Nope, no noun at the end. Just, "I ended up directing the artistic."

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