tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4174606706448853915.post820716278276899288..comments2024-03-19T13:11:49.614-07:00Comments on Save Send Delete: Holidays and Family D Goskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09353495585591945881noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4174606706448853915.post-4956384545885757932017-04-23T15:56:13.041-07:002017-04-23T15:56:13.041-07:00Dear Danusha: It is sad not only that you were ab...Dear Danusha: It is sad not only that you were abused as a child, but that the whole family was complicit. I may not be qualified to give advice, but.... here it is.<br /><br />Whatever you may want of your family you must seek elsewhere. No matter how hard you try, how you seek to make contact, they will do their best to avoid realizing what they did to you.<br /><br />We have a Spanish saying. "No hay que pedir peras al olmo" Translation. "Don't go ask elms for pears" <br /><br /><br />(There is similar Spanish lyric "A la mar fui por naranjas/cosa que la mar no tiene/me dejaron mojadita/las olas que van in vienen" "I went to the sea for oranges/ something that the sea does not have/ the waves that come and go/left me soaked.")<br /><br />You have friends, and your own litle community. Embrace them. Those are pear trees.<br /><br />As for Christmas, take a leaf from the Jews, and go with a friend to a Chinese restaurant to celebrate.<br /><br />You can forgive your family, but you should nt allow them to hurt you again, for many people translate "forgiveness" for "permission to do it again"<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4174606706448853915.post-53570509912434444952015-01-02T08:20:25.937-08:002015-01-02T08:20:25.937-08:00Gemma thank you and bless you.
Writing posts lik...Gemma thank you and bless you. <br /><br />Writing posts like this rips my guts out. I do it because I am a writer and this is what writers do. I write about everything, from soup to nuts. These posts are the hardest. <br /><br />I feel that you *hear* me. That's very gratifying to me. <br /><br />Thank you. Bless you. D Goskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09353495585591945881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4174606706448853915.post-3166088386612781242015-01-02T07:57:01.813-08:002015-01-02T07:57:01.813-08:00Happy Holidays at last Danusha. I have been mulli...Happy Holidays at last Danusha. I have been mulling over what to say about this post. I am so sorry you endured that treatment. You, it seems, were the family scapegoat. How cruel. You wondered about family indifference and I think it is more common than we will ever know. To a degree that was my family. I have nieces and nephews with children who are never in touch. They were tainted by a sister-in-law, their mother, who felt it her duty to demonize my brother's family. They're surely old enough to see through her but I guess it's easier to go along and get along. At this point my family is gone, brothers and parents have passed away and I suppose I am as indifferent to their wives and offspring as they are to me. The difference is I don't make up stories about their wickedness. Oh well. <br /><br />And as for that genetic coldness... that's a human family thing isn't it? We need that to survive and it waits just below the surface just in case..<br /><br />I enjoy your posts enormously.<br />gemmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16828891166303941604noreply@blogger.com